It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a newscap, so here are the gems from the office this week:
Monday: A very international news day. In Australia, an Aboriginal elder led police to…the wrong body? While in France, those vertically challenged can now serve on the police force. While on the home front, a 78 year old man takes a historic roller coaster ride and a poor bear cub is released from getting his head stuck inside the cookie jar.
Tuesday: The South was busy over the weekend. A skateboarding priest was converting the masses over the weekend, while a Mississippi woman got a different haircut than she asked for: a bald patch. Meanwhile, an Alabama man got his missing high school ring back after 14 years. It’s no laughing matter in North Carolina, a man was arrested for laughing in court and later found with three grams of cocaine.
Wednesday: Animal day. A pair of zebras took a stroll around Northern California, even swimming in a local pool. A Python was removed from duty – guaring a stash of cocaine in Rome. And a group of humboldt penguins spent the afternoon chasing a butterfly in Philly:
And in real news, women were yet again suffraging. Or well, suffraging for the right not to suffrage.
Thursday: Kids all over the world are flashing ATM users? And the Canadians are thinking like the Italians: use black bears to guard marijuana crops. The Huffington Post also claimed ‘Bears are the Best’ with this great slideshow, and Sarah Palin issued her list of ‘Mama Grizzlies,’ while simultaneously shocking us all with her stupidity.
Today: The job seeker advice I received on Monday won’t come in handy after all (I didn’t get the job), and I fully plan on popping a whole bottle of Merlot. And the recycling the bottle so it doesn’t end up in the growing Atlantic Ocean Garbage Patch. And seriously, check your eggs to see if they match this recall by the USDA.